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Sometimes I c0me to my little space here on the internet and type and type. I throw down all my thoughts and feelings as a way of getting them off my chest. When it comes to the end of it, I usually delete it all and keep it bottled up inside. This time im putting it out there, facing whats been going through my mind and letting the world see. As people say, your not alone. There will no doubt be people out there who are going through the exact same thing as you, have been through it, maybe have seen the light at the other side and now want to help others get through it.

This last month has been a strange one for me. From dropping out of uni last year Ive never really known what I want to do. As a stop gap I got myself a little job in a cafe as a waitress to help me come to terms with what I wanted to do. I was given many opportunities whilst working here but it just wasnt for me. As much as I enjoyed it I knew I needed something a little more secure. My pay was never the same, which meant I felt unsafe in my job. Although living from home meant I had that little bit more security than others, I wanted to find something where I knew what I would be getting. I searched and searched until I found a job in Barclays as a Personal Banker in the Sky Branch. For those of you who dont know the Sky Branch is the call centre the place people ring for things they need sorting with their bank when they dont want to go into the branch. I applied for this job last October was given an interview and was thankfully successful but had to wait till the end of January to start.

The waiting time for me was hell. I felt as though I had a job but did I really? What if they didnt want me anymore? What if they found someone better while I was waiting to be employed? It created so much worry. I just wanted to be there on my first day and ready to go. I was so nervous and worry filled me. But…

My first week has just passed and I have to say I have enjoyed it. Learning about things that havent yet occured in my personal life, such as mortgages, really helped me to understand how people can get in such ruts with themselves when it comes to money. Its such an important aspect in everyones life.

The main aim of my post today was just to get out my feelings. To let you know its okay to worry about things, everyone goes through it. Jobs are hard to find and sometimes youve just got to take what you can grab, even if it is somthing your not sure you want to do. If you take it then you can keep looking. Which is exactly what I did and now im in a much secure, enjoyable place. But these things arnt just handed to people and you have got to work for them, look for them. One day, if you work hard, you will be where you want to be.





  • Sarah Smiles

    I’m in a similar place. I’m about to leave university and go back to my generic full time job because I want security of being paid but its not the job I want. I’m worried about the waiting and whats going to happen but hopefully I’ll get where I want! 🙂

    Sarah / Sarah Smiles

  • kelseyvickers

    I’m really glad that this new job is going well. I completely understand feeling that way, when I graduated from college I still wasn’t totally sure what direction I wanted to go in. One of the things a good friend told me was this – what would you do if you weren’t afraid? (I have a post all about it on my blog if you care to read it, maybe it’ll help you!)

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